The Initial Consummation Rectification
by marcelb
Summary: They've always been like this. Well, she definitely has. But perhaps they should change their behavior, stop hurting one another, however unintentional. Spoilers for 12x08.


**This idea came to me after watching episode 12x08 (The Consummation Deviation), though RL delayed the writing. And during editing something didn't feel quite right, causing further delay. But here it is, finally. Hope you enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I most certainly don't own anything regarding BBT; if I did, Penny would be carrying Leonard's second child by now.**

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She was a horrible wife, Penny decided as she flushed the toilet. She'd seen Leonard make his way to their bedroom, no spring in his step like there usually was when they'd go to bed. She knew what was bothering him, why he walked like he'd been sucker punched. In a way he had been. Not physically, and not even on purpose, but Penny knew that's how it must feel to him.

She needed to set things straight with her husband. No delay, no talking around it, trying to make it seem like she wasn't completely at fault. The god honest truth, as soon as she stepped into the bedroom, that was the only way to fix this. Taking a few calming breaths, she made her way over to their bedroom.

He was already in bed, but clearly waiting for her. She let out a tiny, nervous smile. She should tell him now, but once again she felt uncomfortable admitting something. How bad was this really? He knew better, didn't he? She didn't say anything, and just started to unbutton her shirt. After the first button she paused and looked at him. She was only delaying having to have a serious conversation. Or was she trying to distract Leonard, hoping he would just forget about it completely? Perhaps a combination of both. And she was still stalling. She sighed. "Leonard, about our first time..."

"I know, it wasn't as good as I made it up to be. Probably because I hadn't done anything for a long time and you're this woman who is just way out of my league."

Penny didn't fail to notice his use of the present tense on that last part; he still viewed her as out of his league, but he couldn't be more wrong. She climbed on the bed, facing him. "Please let me finish. I shouldn't have said our first time was 'nothing to write home about.'" Seeing Leonard's frown she realized her mistake. She'd told that to Raj on the phone. She raised a hand. "Or anything like that. Listen..."

Penny sighed again. "You know how we always make those snarky comments to our friends about our relationship or each other? Well, sometimes one slips out even when it's just the two of us." She shifted around in her spot, trying to get a little more comfortable. "The truth is, our first time was already good. Yes, we felt a bit awkward _afterward_ , but that was only because we'd taken that step, became more than just friends. But you must have known the actual act was pretty awesome."

She frowned slightly, thinking back to that first time. "Remember the next morning when we said goodbye at my door and my upstairs neighbor passed by?" A grin formed on his lips as he did seem to recall the comment that had been thrown their way. "Look, we both know I wasn't exactly a virgin." She glared at him when he made to comment on her statement, effectively shutting him up.

"But with you, sex was completely different. Whereas most guys would try to get their release as quickly as possible, you were there for _me_." She smiled, thinking back to their first time. It really had been an eyeopener for her, the first time she felt the guy wasn't just in it for himself. "That's what makes it so amazing with you. You stay well under the speed limit, but you always, _always_ get me there. Trust me, there's been plenty of times before you when I had to get myself to my destination, after the guy got there."

She smiled. "But compared to now, that first time, even though you were way ahead of the curve, really wasn't that amazing." She moved to sit beside him. "I love that our relationship grew stronger, and our intimate moments became so much more about us being together, loving each other." His arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her a little closer to him.

"I love that I get to go home at the end of the day, knowing you'll be there. I love just cuddling up to you on the couch and watch some TV. I love laughing with you, talking with you, learning things from you, kissing you, or just having some quiet time together. All those things we take with us to the bedroom. It's not about sex, it's making love, a big distinction. One is about physical pleasure, the other is about bonding, emotionally and physically."

Penny turned her head toward him. "So, please, believe me that there was absolutely _nothing_ wrong with our first time. It was already better than anyone before." She could still see some doubt in his eyes. "Even when we'd broken up, I never slept with anyone. I couldn't, I knew they'd only be disappointing." His surprise at her admission was evident, but was soon replaced with guild.

"No, Leonard," she said, gently touching his face to turn it back to her. "Don't feel guilty about having sex. I had broken up with you, you had every right to move on and try to find somebody else." Even if it had made her more jealous than she'd ever been, but she wasn't going to tell him that, or he would certainly feel guilty.

Penny sighed. "Listen, maybe we should dial down all those snarky comments we make. Especially the 'you wore me down' that we've both used on various occasions. I doubt it's fooling anyone, anyway. You did not wear me down, you were just being yourself and it caused me to fall in love with you. And we, well, _I_ , should definitely stop saying things like that when it's just the two of us. And tell me if one slips out, 'cause they do seem to come natural to me."

"The snark is strong in you," Leonard agreed, his first spoken word since she'd climbed on the bed.

Penny giggled. "I know, right? It's my best weapon, but I really shouldn't use it against you, the most important person in my life. I promise to try not doing that to you anymore." She slapped his chest. "And what's this whole me being out of your league thing?" He seemed confused. "Earlier you said I am this woman who _is_ way out of your league, present tense. Do you really feel that way?"

"Sometimes," he admitted after several seconds of silence.

"Like, after I say something stupid about our first time not being wonderful? Or 'forgetting' our first kiss?" Another stupid thing she'd done a few weeks ago, though that one was simply her feeling that kiss wasn't worth remembering. Still, it had hurt his feelings and it had taken her quite some time to admit to him that she did remember.

"There may be a correlation between them," he replied, a slight grin forming.

"I'm _not_ out of your league," Penny said, pouring all the sincerity in her assurance. "If anything, you are out of mine."

He tightened his hold briefly. "Oh no, missy. If I'm not allowed to think like that, neither are you."

She smiled at his response. "Okay, you're right. Truth is, we are perfect for each other. And despite all those comments to the contrary, I love you with all my being. And I know you feel the same way. So, let's just try and stop making all those comments we don't really mean. Like I said, I really doubt we're fooling our friends, and it's become such a habit, we are starting to make them even when nobody else is around."

Leonard nodded, but Penny could tell he was thinking back. "You do know I don't _really_ think you're dumb, right?"

She smiled. "Yeah. Leonard, there's no sense in going over all the stuff we've said to, or about each other. Let's just agree to not do that anymore. And if one of us slips up, we call each other out on it immediately."

Leonard nodded and grinned. "Agreed."

Penny felt his arm tighten around her, and she snuggled further into her husband.

"So, out of curiosity," Leonard began after a couple of minutes, and Penny looked up at him, slightly worried he was going to ask her about what she told Raj. "You _were_ planning on undoing those other buttons, right?"

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 **As you know, I have quite a few stories "in progress" at the moment. I will try my best to not add more, until I've finished some of them. Luckily, this is just a one-shot.**


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